Chapter 6 - Nightmares
That first day, Peter spent as much time sleeping on deck as he did watching. Since it was the boy’s first day, Hook let him rest as much as he needed. He has plenty of time to learn, but he has to recover first. As the days went by, Peter regained his strength and was given tasks to perform while he learned. He was still too weak to do any heavy labor, and too ignorant of ship’s life to know what to do. He was given nets and sails to mend, and Smee showed him how to sew. Hook would point out parts of the ship, explaining what they were called and how they worked. If a crewman was doing something close to where Peter sat, he would tell Peter what he was doing and why. Later, Hook would quiz the boy, to see what he had learned and understood. As the boy grew stronger, he also become more resistant, and balked at first to learning. His belligerence and defiance earned him various light punishments (light only because Hook knew Peter was too weak to take much, so it was limited to missing a meal, extra duty, occasionally a knock or a slap).
But Peter was easily bored and terribly lonely. Doing something helped him keep from thinking about home so much, so he grudgingly began to do what he was told. He soon discovered he had an interest in a lot of the workings of the ship. When Hook allowed him to steer one day, he asked dozens of questions pertaining to how it was done, and wouldn’t stop until he understood the fundamentals of the steerage, from mainsail to rudder. As days turned to weeks, Peter adjusted to the ship. He grew stronger and was given more duties and responsibilities.
His duty as cabin-boy was to serve the Captain. He was expected to keep the Captain’s quarters clean, bring him his meals, see to the laundry, clean up after Short Tom and generally be at hand when Hook called. He also had more mundane duties: swabbing the deck, dishes, take shifts as lookout, and lending a hand as needed. Anyone on ship could task him, but the Captain’s chores took priority.
He adjusted, but wouldn’t accept. He made sure everyone knew he only did his chores because he had no real alternative. He kept up his spirits, and never gave up that he would one day escape.
So passed Peter’s days. His nights were another matter. Cabin-boys traditionally slept in or near the captain’s quarters, to be on hand if they were needed in the night. Peter didn’t care for this arrangement, though, but Hook insisted. Hook valued his privacy, but he wanted the boy nearby, especially after Peter’s escape attempt. The first week went by without incident, and Peter slept well and regained his strength. But then things took a turn, and by the end of the second week, Hook was considering making the boy sleep in the brig.
Peter often had nightmares. Neither Hook nor Peter realized that this was nothing new in itself, but Tink could have told them had she been there. In sleep the memory spell faltered, and Peter remembered things he had been made to forget. But when he awoke, the dreams and memories were gone again, leaving Peter knowing that he had dreamed, but clueless as to what it had been about. Mostly he would sleep content, remembering the happy adventures he had had. But often, especially now after the recent traumas he had endured, the bad memories prevailed, and even the good ones brought sadness. Soon, he was having nightmares every night. Each night they became more frequent and more intense than the night before, and Hook found himself being awakened more often by the boy’s cries. He tried at first to wake Peter from the bad dreams, but quickly learned that Peter could not be roused from them.
The lack of rest took its toll on both of them, and after a couple of nights they both became moody and easily angered. Peter became more belligerent and defiant, often deliberately provoking Hook for some strange reason. Hook in turn became more vicious and more easily provoked, and Mason or Mullins would have to intervene to keep Hook from attacking the boy. To prevent himself from doing something he would regret, Hook began lodging Peter in the crew quarters for the night. The men, exhausted from their own duties, were able to sleep through most of Peter’s outbursts, so it seemed at first a good arrangement. But the men on watch while Peter slept told Hook that they could even hear the boy’s cries while they went about their duties on deck.
Peter’s third night sleeping with the men was a disaster. He tossed and talked, often screaming loudly. A good portion of Peter’s words were in fey, which put Mullins on edge to the point that the man set up a hammock on deck so he could sleep. Mason finally carried the boy to the brig so the others wouldn’t be disturbed.
Peter awoke that morning with a searing headache. He was confused to find himself in the brig, especially since the cell door was unlocked. He eased himself up and walked to the galley for breakfast, limping slightly on his healing foot and holding the wall to keep himself from falling.
“Ah, Petey-boy! You finally avake now? You be in big trouble if you don’ get Cap’n’s food to him soon,” Cookson greeted the boy. He placed the tray with Peter’s and Hook’s breakfasts on the table for Peter to pick up.
“My head hurts. Codfish can get his own breakfast today,” Peter groused. He poured some water into a bowl and began to wash his face.
“Talk like that make you hurt pretty bad. Cap’n Hook is in better mood now that you not keep him avake at night, but rest of crew mighty pissed off. Vat you dream of that make you scream so loud?”
Peter sighed. He figured he’d had more nightmares, because of how bad he felt. He wished he understood what was wrong with him now. He’d never had anything like this happen to him before. “I don’t know. Maybe I dreamed Hook kidnapped me and made me his cabin-boy, and every day he hurt me… oh, wait, that really happened. I guess I’m still having my nightmare.”
“As bad as that nightmare is, boy, trust me it can get much worse,” came the deep cold voice of the Captain from behind.
Peter groaned, but didn’t turn. He really didn’t want to look at Hook right now. He was upset, and knew if he faced the captain, he would mouth off again and provoke the man. Mason and Mullins weren’t nearby to save him right now.
“Since you have finally decided to wake up, I expect you in my quarters as fast as you can walk with that tray. For your sake, you had best not drop it,” and the man turned and left.
Yep, he’s angry. I can feel it tingling inside. Now if only I can remember to keep my mouth shut… Peter picked up the tray and carefully made his way up the steps to the deck. Getting from the hatch to the cabin was difficult. His foot was much better now days and he barely limped. But the sunlight was killing his head, and he could hardly see from the light and the dizziness. Just one night of sleep - sleep without dreams, and I’ll be fine. Maybe I can get Codfish to knock me out. I slept fine when I was sick and hurt.
He almost lost it at one point, but Jukes (of all the crew, he got along with Jukes the least) saw him going over and steadied him. He mumbled his thanks and finally made it to the door and went in. Hook was sitting at his desk writing in his logs. Peter crossed the room and slid the tray onto the desk roughly, nearly spilling the drinks.
Hook knew Peter was having difficulty. As Peter’s nightmares worsened, they intruded into Hook’s own dreams more vividly. The captain knew what Peter dreamed, and understood why the boy got no rest when he slept. He himself only remained relatively unaffected because he was able to recognize quickly that they were not his own dreams, and separate himself from the fear and sadness that Peter felt. But this was getting ridiculous. His discomfort is no excuse for his attitude. If I let him get away with it now, I set a dangerous precedent. “Well, Mr. Pan, do you have anything to say for yourself?”
Peter glared and stood still, hoping Hook would just dismiss him without breakfast. He didn’t feel much like eating anyway. Hook glared back, expecting an answer, so finally Peter said, “Sorry. I overslept.”
Hook’s eyes narrowed, and he dug his claw into the wood of his desk to keep himself from using it on Pan. “That’s two. Two offences today and I haven’t even eaten breakfast yet. Your tardiness I could excuse as a minor offense. Your surliness and lack of respect I cannot. You will learn, one way or another, to address me as ‘Sir’ and ‘Captain’. I grow tired of reminding you every single day. Do you think you can go the rest of the day without a third offense? Or will I actually have to administer your first flogging?”
“No, sir,” Peter replied lowly, deliberately not clarifying which question he was answering. They continued to glare at each other, Peter keeping his eyes focused on Hook because the rest of the room was beginning to dance, Hook keeping his eyes focused on Peter while he calmed himself enough so he could make the boy leave without hitting him. Suddenly, Peter felt something warm on his upper lip, and saw Hook’s eyes widen in surprise. He wiped his nose and saw blood on the back of his hand. There was a vague sensation of falling.
So quickly he didn’t realize what was happening, Hook had lifted him up and set him on the desk. “Peter?” he asked worriedly, and pressed a handkerchief to the boy’s nose.
Peter felt Hook’s concern grow and his anger disappear, and the unexpected shift of emotions threw him off balance. He hadn’t realized he had been reaching out to sense Hook and pulled himself back quickly. He teetered on the edge of the desk and grabbed the pirate’s arm to steady himself.
“I’m sorry, sir. I don’t understand what’s wrong with me. I’ve had bad dreams before, and this never happened. Something’s changed. My head hurts a lot,” he said softly.
“It’s probably another side-effect of the damned spell,” Hook muttered in disgust. “Can you walk?” Peter nodded and Hook helped the boy down, “Go back to bed. Try to get some more sleep. If you can’t, tell Cookson I said to give you something to make you sleep.”
Peter stared at the man, confused by the strange change. Hook gave him a gentle shove towards the door, and added, “I’m feeling generous now, because something is very wrong with you. I don’t want you damaged, which is what will happen if you keep provoking me.”
“Ay, sir,” Peter mumbled. He didn’t have much hope that going back to sleep would help any, but at least this way he wouldn’t have to do anything that would get him in trouble. He stumbled back to the crew quarters, unaware that Hook was following close behind him. When he got below, he threw himself into his hammock. He jumped a bit when Hook pulled a blanket over him. “What are you doing?” he asked suspiciously.
“Since you have become difficult these past few days, I decided to make sure you actually did what I told you. And I wasn’t sure if you were going to make it. Is your nose still bleeding?”
Peter pulled the cloth away, and shook his head when no more blood leaked out.
“Good,” Hook said and left. Shortly afterwards, Peter dozed off.
An hour later, everyone on the ship heard Peter screaming. Hook swore loudly, and yelled for someone to go make the boy be quiet. A few minutes later, a terrified Jukes ran back on deck, calling for the captain to come quick.
Hook ran to where the gunner stood. “What is it, boy?”
“Pan is yelling like hell hounds are after him, but he ain’t asleep. He’s sitting up in the hammock, eyes wide open. He wouldn’t look at me when I came in, like he didn’t see me. His nose is bleedin’ like someone punched him!” Jukes gasped.
Hook quickly went to where Peter slept. Before he got there, the wails stopped, and the silence was somehow worse than the screams. He went in, and saw Peter sitting up in the hammock, just as Jukes described. He made no sound, but his mouth moved as if he were trying to speak.
“Peter!” Hook tried to get the boy to respond, but nothing registered in his face. Hook could feel the terror and despair coming off the child in waves, and knew the boy was still asleep even though his eyes were open. Dammit! I don’t know what to do for him. He picked the boy up, sat in the hammock and held Peter to him. As he wiped the boy’s face clean, he spoke softly, telling him it was okay, that it was safe now. Peter’s eyes closed and he slowly began to relax. Hook reached out and felt the negative emotions fade away. Soon, Peter drifted into a deep slumber, without dreams to disturb him.
Thank God. Maybe now he can rest. I wonder if this will work every time. Hook was willing to give it a try. Maybe the only thing the boy really needed was some reassurance. He put Peter back in the hammock and left him to sleep.
By noon, Peter awoke feeling much better. He ate his lunch with Hook, and they managed to not disagree too much. Afterwards, Peter returned to duty and finished out the day with a minimum of disagreement and no major infractions. He slept again in the crew quarters that night, and once more had his nightmare. Hook had informed Mason about what he had done to calm Peter, and in the night the carpenter tried to apply it himself. Peter wouldn’t respond to Mason’s attempts, fighting the man as he tried to hold him. Finally the man gave up and took the boy onto the deck so he would not keep the other men awake. Hook had still been up, pouring over a book, and heard them outside. He went out and took Peter from Mason, who explained his failed attempt to pacify the child. The boy immediately began to calm, and before Hook could even dismiss the man, he was sleeping quietly again.
“I guess he likes you, Cap’n,” Mason said with a chuckle.
“Don’t be daft. The boy hates me, how could he ever feel otherwise? But if I’m the only one that can calm him down, then I suppose he will be sleeping in my quarters again. Set up the cot in my room where it was before.” Hook led the man to his cabin, and laid Peter on his bed while he waited for Mason to finish. Peter slept soundly in his cot for the rest of the night, and the next day he was almost cheerful.
Every night after that, Peter slept in the cabin. Hook did not tell him how he would hold him till his nightmares subsided, but the boy knew. Sometimes he would awaken and find himself in Hook’s arms, and knew he had had a bad dream. Peter was an intelligent boy, and he guessed that Hook was doing it to help him sleep. He figured if Hook wasn’t going to bring it up then neither was he. He felt it was odd that the man who had given him so much pain and grief would do something to make him feel better, and was more than a little mortified the first few times he had found himself in that position. But he also felt safe there, and knew that the monsters in his dreams could not hurt him while the Captain was around. On those nights he would quietly go back to sleep, the beat of Hook’s heart following him down into more pleasant dreams.